At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
