I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
