I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
