I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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