Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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