She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
