Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
