do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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