please come you make the beer taste better
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
