Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
