I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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