Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
