Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
