is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
