hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
