I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You've changed since you got that strap on
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
