So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
