Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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