Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
