so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
