Dual....:-)
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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