Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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