What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
