got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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