Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Let's get the cat blown out
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
