Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
