possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
