She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
