my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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