Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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