apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
