she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my being single is dangerous.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
