Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
