she looked like the before picture.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
