i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
