Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Im part way to drunk.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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