The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
