Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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