apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
