there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
