I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
