i permit you to call me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
