I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
