I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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