I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
