I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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