smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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