Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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