you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
just found out that she named her cat after me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
