You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
